Has anyone else noticed an unusually high amount of stories about animals in captivity killing (or at least injuring) humans in the news lately? I have, and this has left me quite confused. Why is this news? This is simply animals rightfully acting like animals.
Let’s face it: With the exception of cats, dogs,and other small mammals, most animals don’t adapt well to human domestication. You piss them off and they don’t waste time kicking your ass. Even my cute cuddly kitty-cat (who does happily live a domesticated life) whips out the claws when he’s had enough of me. It’s his nature, as it is for all animals, including humans. Lest we forget, we too are animals. We pretend we are more civilized because we sometimes carry out our squabbles in a verbal manner. At the heart of it all, though, our primal instincts tell us we should just beat the shit out of the person that’s causing us distress. We deny ourselves that satisfaction (usually) until it’s absolutely necessary. This is where humans and animals differ. In the words of George Carlin (skip to 4:10), [animals have] “no Miranda warnings, no three strikes and you’re out bullshit. First offense – BAM! …” They’re completely honest about how they’re feeling, and if they don’t like you, you’re gonna know about it. This is especially effective for animals that are bigger and stronger than humans, as illustrated by the stories linked above.
This is why domesticating animals is, for the most part, a bad idea. This is why I don’t feel sorry when people that work at zoos, circuses, rodeos and theme parks like Sea World end up killed or severely injured by the animals they cared for. This is why I love it when the animals win. Humans ask for this kind of punishment when they expect wild animals to feel just peachy about a life of captivity because we give them a consistent supply of whatever scraps they prefer. Sorry, that just doesn’t make up for removing an animal from its natural habitat for the purposes of human gawking, “education,” and “entertainment.” We should have stopped playing with animals larger than us in the days of the Colisseum and stuck to the gladiator fights instead.
When it comes to animals bigger than we are, it’s either them or us. They don’t play by our rules any more than we play by theirs. If we really were “evolved” human beings, we’d recognize this and leave them the fuck alone. It would be the utmost act of respect on our part. I highly doubt that most species enjoy their interaction with us anyway, let alone a life of (attempted) domestication. We completely deserve the repercussions of such foolish, arrogant behavior, and you bet your ass I’ll be cheering the animals when they win.
