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Just when you think the man’s stepped out of the spotlight once and for all, he comes roaring back. Dick Cheney just won’t shut the fuck up. The thing is, he’s spewing the same, tired spiel about the “effectiveness” of “advanced interrogation techniques.” Apparently, it’s all he has to talk about. He warns that if we don’t reinstate the use of these techniques, our nation’s security is compromised and we risk another terrorist attack.

Oohkay. For starters, stop using the soft language. Call it what it really is: TORTURE. If you’re not afraid to implement suffering on other people, you’d better have the balls to admit to the harsh reality of what’s really going on. Second, it doesn’t seem right to brag about 7.5 years of safety after 9/11. The single worst attack to hit American soil happens on the Bush/Cheney watch and he’s thrilled it didn’t happen again?

Mr. Cheney, I know you’re trying to justify your decisions to the general public, but please, give up your quest to keep the American public frightened of what might happen if we don’t beat the shit out of people for information. This country as a whole has moved on from living in fear on a day-to-day basis. Remember the terror alert? People gave up on that shit because we will never see the alert go down to blue or green in our lifetimes. It’s pointless. Life isn’t safe. Ever. So instead of dwelling on whether or not we’re all going to die, we’ve removed ourselves from the fabricated terror of what could be. Clearly, you haven’t. The more you keep talking, the less people will pay attention. So keep talking, I guess, even though a cold chill runs down my spine every time I see you on my TV screen.