My husband gives me brilliant ideas all the time, but this one was just begging to come alive. Warning: NSFW! (more…)
Harry Potter and the Dildo of Fire
Sunday, July 11th, 2010
10 mispronunciations of words that piss me off
Sunday, May 16th, 2010(Click on the images for a larger version)
First off, a huge peeve of mine from my barista days:
As if I needed another reason to hate Sarah Palin.
This one’s dedicated to my husband. I give him shit about his pronunciation of this word all the time.
Another dedication: This one’s for Josh Wolfson. You might not want to say this word around me, Josh. If you say it wrong, my reflexes may kick in and I might (accidentally?) punch you in the face. I think your wife might really hate me if I cause permanent disfiguration, so I’ll try and refrain, but you’ve been warned.
Leaves aren’t made of aluminum, okay?
Nevermind the fact that I chose hipsters wearing weird shit for this picture.
Stop saying this word like a five-year-old, okay? It’s not cute when you’re a grown adult. You just sound like an uneducated dumbass. Maybe you are.
Another one that should have been corrected before entering kindergarten:
Sure, I’ll slaughter it if that’s what you really want.
Last, but not least…
Bonus: This isn’t a mispronounciation. Just know the difference, mmkay? I’m throwing this one in because I’ll be taking an intense summer course over the next three weeks. Most likely, it will suck all of my time into a black hole, so expect sparse posting until early June.
Thank you for your attention.
Stiffies ‘R’ Us might work, too
Thursday, April 8th, 2010Take a look at the sender of the top message in my spam folder. My husband says that if he ever opens a business, this is what he’ll name it. What do you think? Would we become instant millionaires or what?
My Busy Life
Thursday, April 1st, 2010Wow, so many things have been going on lately! Let me bring you up to speed.
Patrick and I are no longer married. I know this is a huge shocker to most of you, but the truth is that we’ve been driving each other crazy for years and neither of us could take it anymore. I’ll miss him, but I think it’s the best thing for both of us. It will be a lot easier sharing custody of Teddy if we remain friends.
I’m also quitting school. Yes, I know I’m a semester away from graduation, but I must think about this realistically. Who was I kidding when I thought I could pass Latin? Only myself, I’m afraid. Now that reality’s hit, I’ve accepted it. I’m just not meant to be a college graduate. It’s time to accept that and move on, so that’s exactly what I am doing.
I will be moving back to Casper next week. I don’t have an apartment yet, but I know I’ll need some fast money if I want to put down a deposit on a decent place. I figure a few nights at the North 40 strip club will not only give me the money I need for a place to live, but provide the money I’ll need for the drug habit I’ll quickly acquire as a prerequisite for working at a place like that. I haven’t decided whether I’ll try cocaine or meth first.
As soon as I have a place to live, I’ll focus on my next mission: finding me a sugar daddy. I don’t care if he’s a completely abusive asshole; I’ll marry the first rich man I meet and marry him only for the money. I’ll move into his bigass house, drive a BMW, and no matter how unhappy I am, I’ll be sure to have at least a couple of his kids so he’ll have to pay alimony if we split. Then I know I’m set.
And if you’ve actually read this far and believed any word of this post, you are an…
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APRIL FOOL!
Ask Me Anything!
Friday, March 5th, 2010In honor of a (rare) free weekend, I created a FormSpring account. Go ahead. Ask me anything. Ask personal questions, questions about the meaning of life, the fate of the universe….whatever plagues your mind. You can even ask anonymously, so don’t be afraid. No topic is taboo. I’ll post the best of the questions with their answers in another blog entry.
Let’s have fun with this. :)
